Monday, August 15, 2005

Mormon Mission Presidents Gone Wild!!



I had two mission Presidents that were both complete asses. The first one had a goal of 1,000 baptisms for a month and forced Elders to set bi-monthly goals of 1,500 baptisms. He told us if we didn't reach our goals, it was because we weren't living right or didn't have faith. It actually led one of my companions to the edge of suicide because he really believed the President. My first interview with this guy, I had prayed and set a goal of 22 baptisms for 2 months and he ripped me up one side and down the other. He told me how disappointed He was that I didn't have more faith in God, etc. So he made me revise my goal and he reluctantly accepted 122. He still felt that the goal lacked a lot of faith. Of course I didn't even come close!!

Of course I didn't see him out there busting his ass in the middle of summer in 110 degrees and 100% humidity. One month with this Pres, we had 551 baptisms for the month, unfortunately, many of them came from Indian villages in the middle of no where, after promising these people tractors, cars, etc and many turned out to be 7 year old or younger kids. Oops!! The one companionship had like 57 baptisms and immediately went to be "Ass"istants to the Pres. What a joke!!

My 2nd President was horrible but the funniest thing that happened is that he was a huge, die-hard soccer fan and he took two AP's with him to a big soccer game. Well, his team won and he wanted to meet the star player, which he did after the game. Well, unfortunately for Him and the "Ass"istants, they took a picture which ended up on the front page of the local paper and like the dumb asses they were, they were all dressed as missionaries with their name tags and everything. Nobody even knew that they had gone to the game until the paper came out. Of course all the members saw it and word spread like wildfire. It was like the time his daughter met a guy and they took off in the mission van!!

Later, they tried to turn it into a great missionary opportunity, like they had planned it, being on the front page as missionaries which was never the intent, trust me!! Anyway, the whole mission had a great laugh over that one!! LOL!! Especially being that he was a complete arrogant ass and mistreated everyone!!

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4 Comments:

At Tuesday, February 20, 2007 1:53:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Strange numbers,

Under Aguero in '87-'90 the hole mission totals where always 235 average. Like 2 per companionship per month.

Seems your numbers are, like, fantastic or fantasy.

 
At Sunday, December 02, 2007 2:00:00 PM, Anonymous Morpheus said...

Sounds like you have a lot of angst for your mission presidents. One thing I've noticed about the prophets of the Book of Mormon, and of the TRUE prophets that have followed after Joseph Smith, is that they refused to be victims. I don't subscribe to the delusion that your victimhood is brought on by the conspiracy of others, or that you are a bad person; however, if you made an effort to step through the proverbial looking glass, I think you would find that all parts of your life have been touched by this powerlessness. There's a lot to be said about doing what is right out of self-interest regardless of what others think or do. Those who are truth-seekers see through the poison, and if you believed as vehemently as you professed to, then it's likely that you have deceived yourself because it's a much easier way to live. God loves you and so does your Mission President.

 
At Friday, February 08, 2008 7:52:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, I did serve in Venezuela and my mission press was a very responsible man. I believe that you have second thoughts and that you are not really happy with your life.

Go wash your hands and fingers till your mind is clean.

You said you were married in the temple... I wonder if your wife still loves you?

 
At Sunday, March 02, 2008 10:33:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Look man, I don't know what you expect a leader to be, but we are all human. It seems rather unlikely for a mission president to act in the way you said your first one did, but wanting the Lord's work to progress doesn't seem like a sin. Even if the goals are a little over-zealous. As I recall, the apostle Peter smote off the ear of one of the roman soldiers that came to take away his Master. You may criticize him for his devotion and say he was a fool, as you may at the fact that he denied knowing the very same Being later that night, but perhaps it was out of love?

And as for the second case, he loved soccer, and he went to a soccer game... as you served "honorably" did you never do things you wanted to do just because you wanted to?

 

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