Wednesday, January 24, 2007

September Dawn, A Movie About The Mormon's "Mountain Meadows Massacre", Set For Release On May 4, 2007-Should Make Hinckley's Ass A Little tighter!!

Direct Link To Video

Mountain Meadows massacre was one of the darkest and most senseless, tragic days in Mormon and US history. It was also one of the most deadly terrorist attacks of innocents, on American soil, until the Oklahoma City bombing. This movie "September Dawn" is supposed to tell this story.

At least 120 or more innocent men, women and children, were brutally slaughtered, at the command of Brigham Young, the then Mormon Prophet, Seer, Revelator and God, who is honored today with a university named after him(BYU), where I once attended(which I'm embarrassed to admit now) and a statue in Salt Lake along with many other honors.

Oh yeah and you can also take guided missionary tours of his
"Beehive house" and hear all the lies about what a great man he was. Mike and Hyrum from "The Church Is Not True" did a podcast of a tour through the Beehive house and exposed the lies that the missionaries are taught to tell everyone on a daily basis.

Brigham Young knew exactly what was happening in Mountain Meadows that day, because he planned the whole thing and ordered them to trick everybody, gain their trust, disarm them and then kill and slaughter everyone, including any children over the age of 8, because they were no longer innocent, since the Mormon age for baptism is 8 years old.

One little girl that was around 11, was put in the wagon with the younger kids, to watch the slaughter. When they were done killing everyone, including her family, they asked her how old she was, since she was bigger than the other kids. She told them the truth, and they asked her to get out of the wagon and they then shot her point blank in the head, right in front of the other kids.

John D. Lee was the leader of the actual attacks and the main trigger-man, and also the best buddy/right-hand man of Brigham Young(and also a member of Briggies prestigious council of 50), as he was also sealed to Brigham Young in the temple, like a husband and wife would be sealed today. Yeah, they did that back then, trying to make the perfect chain back to Adam. Hmm...when did that revelation change? Are all of the current Apostles and Seventies sealed to each other? Maybe it's just for the "in crowd" and not for the lowly peons and regular members?

Here are some links to John D. Lee's confession, written in his own words:


JOHN D. LEE;(Written by Himself)




Brigham Young of course claimed complete innocence and that he knew nothing about it, but later personally went to the site and tore down the makeshift monument that the US government had put up to honor the victims. innocent man pissed off at a monument honoring the dead victims, but he had nothing to do with it? Yeah, that makes sense!!

Maybe it was the words the Government put on the monument(a wooden cross on which Maj. Carleton inscribed "Vengeance is mine: I will repay, saith the Lord."), about what would happen to the man who had ordered these innocents to be killed. I guess it hit a little too close to home for Brigham Young, the mastermind of Mountain Meadows Massacre and that is why he and his men tore it down and destroyed it.

Maj. Carleton, in his report to Congress, describes the scene at Mountain Meadows:

"women's hair caught in sage bushes, children's bones found in their mothers' arms, and wolves picking at the bones. It was, he wrote, 'a sight which can never be forgotten.'"

So, what did the Mormon Hierarchy do? On April 20 1961, the LDS Church's First Presidency, posthumously reinstated John D. Lee's church membership and "former blessings", meaning temple blessings. In other words, all was forgotten and forgiven and all of those people that he executed, many shot point blank in the head, under the direct order and planning of Brigham Young, meant nothing.

Wait, doesn't the D&C say that
murder is the unpardonable sin? What about mass murder? Isn't it just wonderful? Actually no, it isn't, it's F'd up hardcore, just like the Mormon cult and all of you that know the "real truth" and still defend it!!

When Hinckley went to Mountain Meadows on Sept 11, 1999, for the dedication of a rebuilt monument to supposedly bring closure and healing, he said:

"That which we have done here must never be construed as an acknowledgment of the part of the church of any complicity in the occurrences of that fateful day." The line was inserted into his speech on the advice of attorneys for the Corporation of the President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints."(The Salt Lake Tribune, March 14, 2000-by Christopher Smith)

That doesn't sound like a contrite, sincere man that wanted forgiveness or that wanted to create healing, does it? The truth is, that the Mormon church will never be able to admit fault in the Mountain Meadows massacre, because A) it would mean that Brigham Young wasn't a Prophet, therefore the church is false and B)can you imagine the cost of the wrongful death suits that would be filed, one after another? Not to mention the PR disaster that would just get worse than it already is.

Hinckley also said:

"All who knew firsthand about what occurred here are long since gone. Let the book of the past be closed. Let peace come into our hearts."


"No one can explain what happened in these meadows 142 years ago. We may speculate, but we do not know. We do not understand it. We cannot comprehend it. We can only say that the past is long since gone."

Once again, the Prophet Hinckley pretending to not have a clue about something, that he knows everything about. Amazing how little the Mormon "Prophet, Seer and Revelator" really professes to know, isn't it?

Here's a video of Hinckley contradicting himself and talking about how important the past is, and "to always look to the past" and "how it gives us strength", along with other clips of him then talking about how we should "let the book of the past be closed"(Hmm-I wonder why?) when he spoke at Mountain Meadows in 1999:

Did you notice how emotional he was when talking about the Mormon pioneers and how he showed no emotion when talking about the victims of the Mountain Massacre? So, when it comes to the Mountain Meadows Massacre, or blacks and the Priesthood and their teachings on racism or polygamy, it's all in the past, and they are "little flicks of history", etc, etc, but when it comes to something "faith promoting", we should "always look to the past."

So which is it Hinckley and all you TBMS out there? Should we focus on the past and always look to the past, that always gives us strength, or should we close the book on the past and the little flicks of history? You can't have it both ways!! Either the book is open both ways or shut both ways.

Here is
a link to the official website dedicated to the victims of the Mountain Meadows Massacre and their families.

Those believed to have been killed at or near the Mountain Meadows were:

Alden, William Allen, 19
Baker, George W., 27
Baker, Manerva A. Beller, 25
Mary Loivna, 7
Bellen, Melissa Ann, 14
Bellen, David W., 12
Baker, John T.,52
Baker, Able ,19
Beach, John, 21
Cameron, William, 51
Cameron, Martha, 51
Tillman, 24
Isom, 18
Henry, 16
James, 14
Martha, 11
Larkin, 8
William's niece:
Nancy, 12
Deshazo, Allen P., 20
Dunlap, Jesse Jr., 39
Dunlap, Mary Wharton, 39
Ellender, 18
Nancy M., 16
James D., 14
Lucinda, 12
Susannah, 12
Margerette, 11
Mary Ann, 9
Dunlap, Lorenzo Dow, 42
Dunlap, Nancy Wharton, 42
Thomas J., 17
John H.,16
Mary Ann, 13
Talitha Emaline, 11
Nancy, 9
America Jane, 7
Eaton, William M.
Edwards, Silas
Fancher, Alexander, 45
Fancher, Eliza Ingrum, 32
Hampton, 19
William, 17
Mary, 15
Thomas, 14
Martha, 10
Sarah G., 8
Margaret A., 7
Fancher, James Matthew, 25
Fancher, Frances "Fanny" Fulfer
Fancher, Robert, 19
Huff, Saldia Ann Brown
Two other sons
Jones, John Milum, 32
Jones, Eloah Angeline Tackitt, 27
Jones, Newton
McEntire, Lawson A.,21
Miller, Josiah (Joseph), 30
Miller, Matilda Cameron, 26
James William, 9
Mitchell, Charles R., 25
Mitchell, Sarah C. Baker, 21
John, infant
Mitchell, Joel D., 23
Prewit, John, 20
Prewit, William, 18
Rush, Milum L., 28
Stallcup, Charles, 25
Tackitt, Cynthia, 49
Marion, 20
Sebron, 18
Matilda, 16
James M., 14
Jones M., 12
Tackitt, Pleasant, 25
Tackitt, Armilda Miller, 22
Wilson, Richard
Wood, Solomon R., 20
Wood, William , 26

Other names associated with
caravan included:
Basham, (George D.?)
Hamilton, (Thomas ?)
Haydon, (James C.?)
Hudson, (David ?)
Laffoon family
Morton family, (Charles H.?)
Poteet family
Reed, (John Perkins?)
Smith, (Alf?)
Stevenson, (Mordecai?)

I really hope that this movie will help bring the tragedy of Mountain Meadows and who was responsible, to the attention of the world. From this preview, "September Dawn" looks like it will do this and appears to have nothing to do with the fluff piece that was written in the Deseret News in August of 2005.

I don't know if the project changed when they discovered how horrific it really was and who was really behind it, but it appears to be much more than a Titanic like love story. I just hope that this preview is a true reflection of the movie.

Oh, by the way, whatever happened to that official book(using new sources that nobody had ever seen before) the Mormon church was writing 4 years ago, with the help of Richard Turley, Glen Leonard and Ronald Walker, that was supposed to be entitled "Tragedy at Mountain Meadows?" Is it still in progress or just laying in the closet with all the other skeletons?

In any case, the Mountain Meadows Massacre is just another horrific skeleton in the Mormon Hierarchy's closet full of skeletons, that reminds us all, just what this cult really stands for, has always stood for and will always stand for; corruption, lying, deceit, destruction and yes, even brutal murder of innocent men, women and children, in the name of God and blood atonement. Will the Mormon Hierarchy ever take responsibility for any of their sins?

The answer sadly is no, because they answer to no one, but their own fabricated God and Jesus(who are now more interested in buying and building malls and luxury resorts and re-designing downtowns) and there are no checks and balances to hold them accountable.

And that's why they call it a cult folks!!

Samuel the Utahnite

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At Thursday, January 25, 2007 2:55:00 AM, Anonymous Galatian said...

Samuel as usual you've done a fantastic job of laying out the obvious. It's so apparent that it SHOULD hit anyone in the head like a ton of bricks ... including TBM's. You obviously know what you are talking about, and from the research I've done on this topic, I can ascertain that you are correct in your article. As usual, I commend you on a job well done, and writing that was written articulately based on the facts, history, etc. Thank you yet again!

At Thursday, January 25, 2007 9:38:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent job as usual!

But the answer to all these questions are given by yourself in saying:

"The answer sadly is no, because they answer to no one"

because of this fact none of these issues will ever be solved or corrected.

At Thursday, January 25, 2007 11:09:00 AM, Anonymous Elder Joseph said...

I have to say Thank you to you Samuel . Your efforts are much appreciated . Seeing this trailer on here has reminded me just where mormonism has evolved from and it realy hits home the reality of it all.Its easy to be suckered into Mormonism by all the attention and kindness you get from the members and as you know they are on the whole genuine , but behind the scenes ..... well thats another matter .

Well I've seen Dallin H Oaks speak as he tours around the stakes . As much as I have respect for him , I must admit that this webpage and the Mountain Meadows Massacre has more impact on me spiritually than Dallin H Oaks.

Somehow truth has a habit of rattling the conscience.No matter how sincere the Mormons are , I can't quiet understand what they are feeling in these endless talks of GA's and Apostles. I'm not sure that Dallin or any of the others have any more idea about God than anyone else .
Maybe it's me not in tune with the spirit .... why is God missing me out ? My Mormon friends keep telling me if I'm sincere enough he will manifest the truth unto me .

How much more sincere can I get , I'm regularly mistaken for a church member now and my knowledge is greater than alot of the church members ! And yes I live nearly all the commandments , surely I'm due a sign in my bossom. But no nothing , unless I'm supposed to talk myself into it somehow like a self hypnosis ...... I would really like to know if anyone actually feels anything really and instead do they all rely on each others convictions thinking it must be true if they are all convincing each other ...

I can see the next generation Missionaries to be called out, playing with their mobile phone games during sacrament , one just having been interviewed by Bishop for his mission and passed ???? lol God help us ........ Testimonies of boring sacrament meetings is the only true testimony these guys can bear .( But they will LIE and say they know it's true ... blah blah blah ).

Elder Joseph

At Thursday, January 25, 2007 2:41:00 PM, Anonymous Demon of Kolob said...

I hope this film makes it to the moviehouse. the morg will try to stop this. I wonder if anybody it Utah will play it. It would be funny if Larry Miller booked in his movieplexs without knowing what it was about.

At Thursday, January 25, 2007 4:10:00 PM, Anonymous CW said...

Elder Joseph - if you ask "devout" mormons if they really feel the spirit, they will assure you that they do. But their spirit is nothing more than warm fuzzies at hearing uplifting stories, or at hearing doctrines that justify their bizarre activities. When I was ten, I "felt the spirit" the strongest I've ever felt it in my life - after finishing "The One Hundred and One Dalmations" by Dodie Smith. The exact same warm fuzzies after reading a good book that you're supposed to feel in church.

At Monday, January 29, 2007 11:10:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


Im about to catch a flight so forgive the change of subject but im interested whether you or anyone else has seen Decker's The God Makers on you tube or the actual film? In it various people make statements about their invlovement in sex parties attended by Hinkley and others. I have also thought Ed Decker to be a bit barking mad but this caught my attention because he hasnt been sued to my knowledge and it's vert racy stuff. I'd be interested in your thoughts.

John in London

At Monday, January 29, 2007 2:57:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes I find it all interesting. However as a student of religion and a practioner of my own, I find that any religious conversation is biased one way or another. On the one side you have a video that shows a massacre committed by LDS people to prove the "horrors" of this religion or of a time in this religions past. On the other are the LDS accounts of massacres committed against's all hyperbole! Unless you are someone who calims that no religion is relevant (you may be) then any arguement that relies heavily upon the atrocities of a faith committed against non-members can be countered by examples of that same in every single religion & most religious bodies or organizations. It also appears that with just about any religion that has committed "horrors", some equally horrible thing has been done to them i.e. Christian Crusades, Muslims killing Christians in the Sudan...unfortunately this video does nothing for me in determining the validity of the LDS religion...but thanks!

At Monday, January 29, 2007 5:10:00 PM, Anonymous Demon of Kolob said...

about Godmakers , much of it is wrong. got here for the details

this article is by the Tanners long time Exmo who do very good research.

At Sunday, April 22, 2007 7:13:00 PM, Blogger Ultra-High Priest said...


I'm an Exmo, due to a church court; and as is noted above, every faith &/or religion has done horrendous things in the name of "God" & had the same done to them.
It certainly isn't the Mormons who have a stranglehold on atrocity. Have you ever addressed the Catholic Inquisition or do you just have a burr up your ass for the Mormons, since you are no longer one?
Get back to me, I'd like to know your response.

At Wednesday, May 02, 2007 9:06:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why does everyone like to pick on the Mormon's? You don't see people making "anti" videos about othet religions such as radical Muslims. If you compare the Mountain Meadow Massacre with 911 it pales in comparison. look at the Catholic Church who over 100's of years murdered 1000's if not millions of people in the name of their religion. Still, we don't see videos to make the Catholic Church look bad. I actually believe that because the Mormon Church is targeted by so many it proves that Satan is at work trying his best to bring down Christ's true church. So I want to say thank you to everyone producing this anti-Mormon propaganda because it strengthens my testimony that Joseph Smith WAS a prophet and that the Book of Mormon IS the word of God.

At Thursday, June 07, 2007 12:21:00 PM, Blogger Matt said...

Ephesian 5:11 says to expose the "fruits of darkness." Is the massacre of 160 not the fruits of darkness? Why did Brigham Young not detain any of the Mormon murderers?

At Thursday, August 02, 2007 3:37:00 AM, Blogger Man of a Thousand Poems said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At Thursday, August 02, 2007 3:40:00 AM, Blogger Man of a Thousand Poems said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At Sunday, August 12, 2007 3:28:00 AM, Blogger Man of a Thousand Poems said...


The Law

And now, behold, I the Lord,
Speak unto the church.

Thou shalt not kill;
For he that kills
Shall not have forgiveness in this world,
Nor in the world to come.

Therefore, my brethren, let it be known,
That if any persons among you shall kill,
They shall be delivered up and approved for punishment
According to the laws of the land;

For remember,
He that kills hath no forgiveness;
In this world,
Nor in the world to come.

And now, behold, I the Lord,
Speak unto all those members of the church,

Who would bear false witness
By holding back the truth
To cover the sins of any man
Who has committed murder;

For he that would hold back the truth
To cover the sin of murder, in the least instance,
Shall not have forgiveness in this world,
Nor in the world to come.

And now, behold, I the Lord,
Speak unto all ye proselytes,

Who have been, innocently, baptized into the church,
And afterwards,
Come to the sad knowledge of the truth,
Which pertains unto the kingdom of God,

That has thus been built upon
The unforgivable sins of murder and false witness,
By those men who held back the truth
To cover the sins of its leadership.

Therefore, I the Lord, to answer the ends of the law,
Hereby warn you,
That those of you who sustain the leadership
Of such an organization,

After coming to a clear
And undeniable knowledge of the truth,
Can no longer be viewed as innocent
In the eyes of My Father;

But are rather,
Considered as accessories
To murder,
After the fact;

A sin against the Holy Spirit of Truth,
Which shall not be dignified
By the divine grace
Of My forgiveness;

In this world,
Nor in the eternal world
To come.


Copyright ©2007 Man of a Thousand Poems

The Penalty

Verily, verily,
Thus saith the Lord
Unto you, My brethren,
Whom I love;

How shall I prepare a way
For your deliverance
In all things out of temptation,
If you break the unpardonable law?

For ye have sinned against me
A very grievous sin,
In that ye have not considered
The great commandment

That I have
Given unto you
Concerning the shedding
Of innocent blood.

Do ye not remember that I said,
“There are many called, but few are chosen?”
And do ye not remember
Why they are not chosen?

Because their hearts are set so much upon
The things of this world,
And aspire to the honors of men,
That they do not learn this one lesson—

That the rights
Of the priesthood
Are inseparably connected
With the powers of heaven,

And that the powers of heaven
Cannot be controlled nor handled
Only upon the principles
Of righteousness.

That they may be conferred upon you,
It is true;
But when you undertake to cover your sins,
Or to gratify your pride, your vain ambition,

Or to exercise control or dominion
Or compulsion upon the souls
Of the children of men,
In any degree of unrighteousness,

Behold, the heavens
Withdraw themselves;
The Spirit of the Lord
Is grieved;

And when it is withdrawn,
Amen to the priesthood
Or the authority
Of such men.

Therefore, ere ye are aware,
Ye are left unto yourselves,
To kick against the pricks,
To persecute the saints,

And to fight against
The very cause
Of My Father’s

With the destructive nature and disposition
Of almost all men,
Who get a little authority,
As they suppose,

And immediately begin to exercise
Unrighteous dominion
Upon the souls of their brethren
In the name of my Father.

Therefore, I the Lord, say unto you again,
And unto all of the world,
Ye have sinned against me
A very grievous sin;

When upon the plains
Of Mountain Meadows,
Your fathers exercised control and compulsion
Upon the souls of the children of men,

And afterward, undertook to cover their sins,
With a degree of unrighteousness,
Which grieved the Spirit of the Lord
Sufficient to cause the heavens to withdraw themselves,

In the eyes of my Father,
Ye elders of my church no longer retain
The validity of the priesthood,

Or the authority
To officiate
In the ordinances
Of its office.

For ye knowingly refused
To bring to justice,
The men who were responsible for their crimes
Against the law of my Father,

Thus perpetuating the dark abomination of conspiracy,
Which shrouded thy fathers in the protective silence
Of thine own secrecy,
Even unto death.

Hence, for thy sins, and the sins of thy fathers,
Many are called to be chastened
With the mere residue
Of salvation,

While only a few are chosen to comprehend
The true nature and consequence
Of this judgment.


Copyright ©2007 Man of a Thousand Poems

The Penance

Thus saith the Lord
Your God unto you,
O ye elders of my church,

Hearken ye
And hear,
And receive my will
Concerning you.

For verily I say unto the body of the priesthood,
It is my will that ye should overcome
The sins of the world;
Wherefore I will have compassion upon you.

Therefore, my brethren,
Draw near
And hear ye
The voice of My salvation,

For residing among your congregations,
Is the posterity of those evil men
Who sinned against me,
While upon the plains of Mountain Meadows,

Which grieved the Spirit of the Lord,
Sufficient to cause the heavens to withdraw themselves,
Thus severing the keys to the priesthood
From that time, even until now,

But verily I say unto you,
For mine own glory,
And for the salvation
Of thy souls,

I will be merciful
Unto you,
For I gave unto your fathers
The kingdom,

And I the Lord, will forgive
Whom I will forgive,
But of you it is required
To forgive all men;

Yet he that repenteth not of his sins,
And confess them not,
Ye elders shall bring
Before the church,

And do with him
As the scripture saith unto you,
Either by commandment
Or by revelation.

And this shall ye do
That God may be glorified—
Not because ye forgive not,
Having no compassion,

But that ye might be justified
In the eyes of the law,
That ye offend not him
Who is your lawgiver—

For ye ought to say in your hearts—
Let God judge the sins of a man
And reward him
According to his deeds.

Now ye elders,
Ye have heard it said,
That the iniquity and transgression
Of my holy laws and commandments

Shall be visited upon the heads
Of those who hinder my work,
Unto the third
And fourth generation,

For this cause,
I the Lord, shall grant
A short season,

In which the posterity of those men
Who sinned against me
Upon the plains of Mountain Meadows,
Might offer an offering unto the Lord in righteousness,

To appease
The demands of justice,
Which has befallen the entire body
Of the priesthood.

Now this, my brethren,
Is the offering,
Which I the Lord,
Shall require:

Bring unto me
Of thine eldest sons;
Seven men of age,
From the blood of each conspirator,

To atone for the sins,
Which follow the sovereign genealogy
Of the priesthood
Even now.

Let them be shackled,
One to another,
With fetters
About the ankles,

To encircle and face the memorial
Erected upon the bones of their father’s victims,
Whose blood yet cries unto me,
From the dust of the ground,

For these men, my brethren,
Are to be carried away in the spirit
To witness the legacy
Of their heritage,

And the extent of the damage,
Which the disobedience of their ancestry caused
To the restoration
Of my Father’s kingdom,

And return thus to openly testify,
In thy meetings,
Of the condemnation they shall witness
Through the visitation of the Holy Spirit;

And ye shall publish these testimonies
For the eyes of all the world,
And let them stand as a warning,
Last of all, unto thy brethren,

Who would again bear the holy keys of the priesthood,
And secretly conspire
To break the commandments of my Father.


Copyright ©2007 Man of a Thousand Poems

At Monday, August 20, 2007 5:35:00 PM, Blogger granders1172 said...

Mr U

I have seen this film in a sneak peek. It is well made and it WILL be released to theaters this weekend!!! I know this to be fact! Ausgust 24th 2007. It was a wonderful story telling of how this religion became to be. What its roots are. Murder and lies!

Go forth and see ye thy truth set forth in this cinematic medium. I am sure that is how BY would have quoted. We all know he was a liar and not a prophet in the least!!! He was a boy who was in trouble for stealing and he made this up as he went along to get out of trouble.

Thank you for seeing the light and May god truly bless you in your life and your walk!

At Thursday, August 23, 2007 12:33:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

scdoyle - You must be joking when you ask why Mormons are the only religion being picked on in videos. The reason you see the negative portray of Mormons more than other groups is because you are Mormon so you are more sensitive to these images. Open your eyes to the stereotypes and negative portrays of other groups.
Muslim Negative Portrayals in Movies - The Siege, Munich, Executive Decision, Raiders of the Lost Arc, House of Sand and Fog, Dirty War, True Lies, Back to the Future, Patriot Games, GI Jane, and as for portrayals of radical muslims any of the movies that have come out about 9/11
Jewish Negative Portrayals in Movies - Munich, The Passion of The Christ, and a new show called Mad Men on Bravo.
I won't even start with the negative portrayals of the American Indians. Thanks for reading!

At Saturday, September 22, 2007 11:13:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dearest Samuel,

I have read your posts, your personal statement, and your profile. I have also visited many of your other blogs that speak out against the truth of Mormon doctrine. Yet, have come to realize, just recently that among all of your research, your commentary, and your resentment; one unique and very profound awareness comes to light, and I feel somehow moved to comment on this as a fellow reader of this material.

I sense very strongly that you are truly grieving. In fact, you have begun to experience the first two of the five stages of grief that are commonly recognized by physiologists who treat loss. You had lived the major part of your life in a state of illusion.

Let us assume that disillusionment in your case was the onset of loss. Certainly, to be DIS-dash-illusioned, would simply mean that you would have experienced a death, a profound personal loss, regarding your illusion. This has impacted you so profoundly, I suspect, that you have actually felt deep spiritual pain in this recognition. To have challenged in a single moment, an entire lifetime of indoctrination, must have caused an unbelievable sensation, which I’m certain, only few can understand in a lifetime.

The first Stage of grief is Denial. Surely as you moved though the mounds of material in your study (especially at first) you were shocked, and dismayed. I’m sure that you must have searched, researched and crossed referenced your material, hoping to be wrong, hoping to find some mistake in the claim, yet when none was found, the realization of your truth had come to light, that Mormonism was a fraud, and that you had been mislead for nearly 30 years.

Shortly following this sensation of denial, in which you checked and rechecked your sources, and found only truth in the end, you became angry. This is the second phase of grief. Yes, to be angry is a profound emotion that has roused your sense of morality, and is probably the motivation for an entire string of blog sites dedicated to announcing your finding. This is not right or wrong, it simply is. Your passion now, in the heat of this emotion, is to alert the world of this monumental untruth. The added benefit of this is perhaps, finding a well of support from others who have experienced similar disillusionments within their belief systems.

Could we call this fellowship (one to replace that which you have lost)— no matter, it only deviates from the point.

Yet, it makes perfect sense, because the next step in the grieving process is to bargain. Sometimes you bargain with others, to justify your new views (likeminded persons really help with this), or other times you bargain with God himself to take away the pain, to alleviate the sensation of your loss. Perhaps you move on to some other church practice, or maybe you continue to search alone, to find the truth about your God for yourself. Nonetheless, you bargain, you justify a change in direction, in your thinking, to have removed from you, the remnant of the old painful truth, the dead truth.

Almost certainly though, the fourth and perhaps the most painful piece of the grieving process is depression. As depression finally sets in, the construct of your beliefs are in such shambles that you are lowered into a unique state of despair, in which the events of your loss seem to race through the mind, until you become numb with a sensation-less and apathetic view to your beliefs. Even though, the tinge of anger and sadness, may still lurk underneath, the emotions have been so taxed, up to this point, that you are undeniably exhausted, strained and overcome, that you feel hopeless, and may be subject to perceiving this world as Godless and without light any longer.

Take heart though, because as this phase passes, (and in time it does), you move into the last stage of grief, you are finally able to accept. Acceptance is where the rays of the sun peak over the mountain of grief and finally shed some well needed light onto the truth of your personal growth. You have just experienced a tremendous change, that required the death of a particularly powerful set of beliefs. As you come to realize the truth of your loss, you may find that you no longer need to rebuke the church for its sake (or even for anger’s sake), because access to the Kingdom of God doesn’t come by tearing down another Man’s religion, but by creating a personal and fulfilling relationship with the one you perceive in your heart to be God.

Not God, as portrayed by any other source, but God as he is felt it in the humility of your new awareness.

Personally, I am very touched by your work, but was even more touched that I could discern how your fragile heart had been injured, and how you cried out, with everything you wrote. I know, that you will be comforted should you open yourself to the experience of God. Your new awareness is cause for a time of celebration, for it may be the first in a series of stepping stones that lead unto the kingdom. I commend you.

May God be with you always.

At Wednesday, January 09, 2008 12:32:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Murder committed under the mask of any religion is wrong. I believe that the reason the mountain meadow massacre is so disturbing is because those massacered were Christian Americans. These Christian Americans were killed by fellow Americans who call themselves Christians. 9/11 was an attack against Americans by non-Americans. As we all know, religion (Muslum vs. Christian , was also behind the 9/11 attack. Though not justified, killing people not of your religion, for your religious beliefs is part of human history. Enemies, who can, kill their enemies, people are used to that idea. I am confused, though, by people equating the mountain meadow massacre to 9/11, the Christian crusades, the nazi concentration camps, jews killing muslums and vice versa. Mormons call themselves Christians and they massacred men, women and children who were also Christian. What was the motivation for this massacre? Why were these Christian settlers a threat to the Mormons, their fellow Christians?

At Friday, March 20, 2009 11:09:00 PM, Blogger Diddley said...

I'm glad this blog is here. Please keep up to date. I live in the west (not Utah) and know many, many people who have had bad experiences with LDS "missionaries." They are aggressive and dishonest.

At Sunday, April 11, 2010 5:02:00 PM, Blogger Michael said...

Excuse me, I want to puke.


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