Saturday, April 05, 2008

Thomas S. Monson...New MORmON PRophet..lets loose & Goes Snoop Doggy Dog & Creates A Music Video To Celebrate His Long Awaited Coronation Ceremony!!

Well, the MORmON General Conference Weekend is about to kick off once again and the new PRophet of fraud Thomas S. Monson will be officially announced and coronated in what they're calling a solemn assembly and a new asshole will also be called as an ASSpostle, who will follow Monson's EVERY command and will follow the party line and blatantly lie and bullshit the world on a regular basis, about all things MORmON...especially their history and doctrine.

Who will the new ASSpostle be? It's will be whoever has kissed Monson's ass the most over the years, that will be called, since that is what the MORmON God/Jesus requires.(some type of connection back to the original MORmON PRophets and ASSpostle is very helpful too) Maybe one of the BYU Presidents might be a good choice, especially Cecil Osborn Samuelson, Jr., who built that massive visitor center named after Gordon B. Hinckley. Oh wait...they're announcing it now...oh my God...this is so exciting!!

First they're voting on Tommy Boy Monson, one section at a it really matters, as I guess the only ones that count, are those that are actually at General Conference, since they can't see the hands all around the world, like mine, that just opposed his sorry, pathetic ASS!!

I love how Dieter F. Uchtdorf says "any opposed" and then looks around the 21,000 seat, multi-level Gordydome for like 2 seconds and says "thank you"...LOL!! Like he could see anyone in the upper balcony or way in the back, which proves that they don't give a shit who votes no, because it's all a formality, which us ex-MORmONS understand.

Anyone ever see someone oppose somebody? What happened after they raised their hand in defiance? Did you hear yelling and screaming in the hall? LOL!!

What would happen if you did raise your hand in opposition and they actually see it? They'd probably have you escorted out by security and want to know why and what your reasons were. If they didn't like your response, I'm sure you'd be excommunicated pretty quickly and severely scorned by your Bishop and Stake President, once you got back home and the MORmON Vatican gave them a call, to report your evil actions.

Well, the new ASSpostle of the MORmON Lard is...DRUM ROLL PLEASE...D. Todd Christofferson(picture below this paragraph) and I'll have to go look up his life, talks, etc and find out what it was that he did, that got him picked by Tommy Boy...and I'm sure it involved some big time, lip smacking, ASS KISSING!!

General Conference is so damn repetitive and predictable, as we know that there will be multiple talks, given by virtual zombies, with monotone, near hypnotic voices, about sexual purity, repenting and especially pornography(worse than Cocaine and hard drugs, according to current MORmON ASSpostle Dallin H. Oaks and there is always one poor SOB who gets assigned the brutal tithing/robbing the poor with a smile talk, where they say things like:

"if you have to choose between feeding your family or paying your tithing, you pay your tithing"(Lynn G. Robbins-April 2005) and that "instead of paying medical bills, fixing your car or house, or paying home and car insurance" guessed it; you should "pay your damn tithing."(Daniel J. Johnson-October 2006)

Who teaches this pathetic, vile shit? Who wants people and their children to literally starve for "God", or break the law and not have car or home insurance or fix their house or car, or pay their utilities in the name of "God?"

MORmON PRophets and ASSpostles do!!

EVERY General Conference is full of nothing but guilt trips, accusations, condemnation, constant begging for those that have left the cult to come back and that it's "not too late" and of course the incessant claiming that "the church is true" and "the one and only true church on earth", meaning that ALL other churches are false, which is what they've taught since the First Vision supposedly happened...depending on which version your going by of course.

I believe that tithing funds are starting to dry up considerably from what they used to be(they still have billions rolling in, but many less billions than they're used to), due to the massive amount of resignations, many just over the last 3 years. So, knowing this, it's interesting that Jesus/MORmON Inc., have decided to pull the plug on their 550 "affordable home" housing development in Laie, Hawaii, after making such big news about it.

OOPS...once again, it looks like the MORmON Jesus(the one and only true Jesus on earth), had NO CLUE and screwed up once again(polygamy/Adam-God/racism/sexism/homophobia/hate/condemnation of all other religions on earth, calling them "whores of all the earth", "of the devil", "abominations", "false", "corrupt", etc) and didn't anticipate how hard it would be to build 550 "affordable homes" in Laie, Hawaii...but anyone with half a brain could have told him that, since it's common sense, which obviously isn't part of the "MORmON God/Jesus'" mind!!

The MORmON God/Jesus also didn't know or anticipate the economic situation of the USA when buying the 663 additional acres and announcing to the world that they were going to build 550 "affordable homes", which is pretty pathetic, since they supposedly know the beginning from the end...NOT!!

Sadly, many people did get excited about the housing project and about 200 had expressed serious interest and the MORmON PRophet Thomas S. Monson and his God/Jesus just gave them the finger and the big FUCK YOU, in the name of the MORmON God/Jesus!!

I've predicted for a long time that when Tommy Boy took over, he would be known as the "great consolidator" and would be a cheap bastard, cutting waaaay back, like this project in Hawaii for starters, while closing down wards, Stakes, etc and consolidating them and then selling off the extra churches.

Things spun completely out of control with Gordon B. Hinckley, as out of almost 14 million members, there are only about 3-4 million active, if that and many of them don't even have temple recommends.

The way things are going, they might need to start selling off temples at some point, that sit empty and are shockingly by "appointment only"(and hardly ever used), especially the worthless Mctemples that Hinckley started building in mass numbers.

Anyway, I'd better wrap this up for now, as I'm sure I'll have much more to say later, when I do a conference wrap-up blog post, as I've already heard some pretty good bullshit and I want to focus on Crying Eyring's speach, as I'm sure he'll start sobbing soon, like he always does.

Wow, he can't stop saying "that the church is true", that it's the "one and only true and living church", the "only one with authority", etc.

And MORmONS are shocked and stunned and wonder why Christians hate them so much, when they publicly brag about how Goddamn awesome and right they are, basically mocking everyone else and calling them a piece of worthless shit? Arrogant, God-in-embryo bastards!!

Oh hey, on a side-note, did you guys know that Crying Eyring loves to eat at Sizzler and drives a brand new Toyota Avalon? Good God, he loves Salad too, as he must have made 5 or more trips to the all-you-can-eat salad bar. More on that another day, as that is it's own post, with pictures...LOL!!

Take care guys and may the MORmON Holy Ghost NOT be with you all!!

Samuel the Utahnite

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At Sunday, April 06, 2008 3:31:00 PM, Blogger Elder Joseph said...


Richard G Scott has spoken quote
" I bare solemn witness of how deeply I love our new prophet seer and revelator President Thomas S Monson,how deeply I trust him and how I'm willing to do whatever he asks me to do "

Yes like give him his wife if asked or even a 14 year old daughter like that idiot Heber C Kimball did , maybe even perhaps blood atone someone !

Scary stuff.

Worst still he goes on to talk about healing for child sex abuse ? talks about the victim going to see the Bishop for councilling etc!

The Bishop has no experience, instruction or education on how best to deal with these matters.He will just say pay Tithe, Read The Book of Mormon and pray about it.

These people are not only deluded idiots , they are a danger and menace to the public and church members alike.

The more they are exposed as the frauds they are and more church members continue leaving and resigning the better.

At Tuesday, April 08, 2008 12:53:00 PM, Blogger Elder Joseph said...


There are no members tithes being used to invest in the $2 billion Shopping Mall !

Gordon Hinckley said so and he is/was The Prophet.Follow The prophet etc .... he will never lead you astray .

He said that the money is coming from church businesses and enterprises.....So this is what you do:

1 Collect 'sacred' tithes (The Lords Money).

2 Buy a TV Station with it, a radio station, an insurance company,a few stocks and bonds, land investment,the odd hotel maybe.

3 Collect the income from these commercial church owned businesses and say to your members " No tithing is being used to fund the shoping mall."

Its simply beautiful and beautifully simple.

At Thursday, April 10, 2008 9:56:00 PM, Blogger extole said...

Ha! Great post, thanks Samuel.

Can't wait to hear about Eyring at Sizzler!

At Friday, April 11, 2008 5:32:00 AM, Blogger Just a girl said...

Putting tithing money into a seperate account allowed me to leave my abusive, temple recommend holding, Elder's Quorum President, gay-but-will-probably-never-act-on-it-because-he-thinks-he's-supposed-to-be-a-prophet husband.

That really gives me a strong testimony of tithing. Keep it in your own pocket and use it for the things that will save your life.

I am appalled that anyone would suggest paying tithing before feeding your children. There are enough children who go hungry in this world. What purpose could possibly be served by paying the prophet's paycheck before feeding our children?

At Saturday, April 12, 2008 7:41:00 AM, Blogger Elder Joseph said...

Its amazing how they can get away with this but here goes:

The way to get blessed is STILL by Tithing ,there is no change on that from The So Called , Self Styled Annointed Special Witnesses Of Christ.

Elder Sheldon F. Child General Conference 2008 :

"President Heber J. Grant stated: 'I want to say to you, if you will be honest with the Lord, paying your tithing and keeping his commandments, he will not only bless you with the light and inspiration of his Holy Spirit, but you will be blessed in DOLLARS AND CENTS; you will be enabled to pay your debts, and the Lord will pour out temporal blessings upon you in great abundance."

And if you pay your Tithing and still starve or get your utilities cut off or loose your job,or haven't had a Temple Marriage as promised in your Patriarchal Blessing then its obviously your own fault for faltering somewhere else among the Laws and Ordainances Of The Gospel.The church is perfect and don't even criticize the leaders if they are wrong.

Can you think of anything else to make a person angry ! lol

At Saturday, April 12, 2008 6:34:00 PM, Blogger Elder Joseph said...

Mormon missionary audio recorded calling The Apostles wives darn Flippin UGLY ! to an Investigator.

This will be the first of many of what the missionary really did teach an enquiring knowledgable Investigator and also how people are pressured and bullied into baptism.

I don't blame him .I blame the whole mission field and how they twist the minds of these poor young kids who really are only victims of the cult themselves.

At Monday, April 14, 2008 8:43:00 PM, Blogger John said...

dude Monson singing Snoop's song scared me. The TBM's at my wife's work were all talking up a storm when the prank came out that Snoop was joining the church. I knew it wasn't true right away. I listen to Snoop he wouldn't ever be a mormon. I just thought it was quite funny the TBMs were thinking it had to be true. Thanks for your website. When you going to do another podcast? I'm ready for the next one.


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